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How I Got Kicked Out of My First Shanghai Apartment
This is the story of how I got kicked out of my first Shanghai apartment by my Chinese roommate for not being 'western enough.'
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I found out that she had a tendency to like western men. She told me about all of her boyfriends and lovers, and this is when I started to worry about her well being—basically, she only liked western men that were using her for sex.
As the days went by, we grew closer and started to open up more about our love lives. She told me about how she lusted after a certain American man and how he continually pushed her away and continued to sleep with a slew of Chinese women. She admitted that in Japan she was engaged to a Frenchman, but days before the wedding he cancelled the ceremony, which brought shame upon her entire family.
“Please help my daughter find a good man,” her father told me when I went to her family’s home for dinner. “She likes American men—and since you’re a good American girl, I know you will help her find someone with a good heart.”
My warm and friendly roommate began to turn ice cold and downright hateful.
“Why are you so negative all the time,” she snapped at me. “Quit complaining about your job.”
“You take too much room in the fridge,” she yelled at me. “Stop buying so much food.”
Then, the comments started getting weird.
“What’s wrong with you!?” she screamed. “Why do you make Chinese food every night!? Why don’t you make steak or hamburgers or pasta?? Why do you continually make Chinese food?”
“Why are all your friends Asian?” she scoffed. “First your friend Chen, then your Japanese friend K. Where are all your white friends?”
Finally, she stormed into my room and said:
“Mary, you’re a disappointment.
I brought you into my home thinking that you would be a blonde haired, blue eyed American girl. I was excited to have a real westerner in my home, but instead I have you—you with your black hair and brown eyes. You cook Chinese food and you study Mandarin all the time—it’s boring, it’s tiring, and it’s not what I want.
I like western men—and I wanted you to find me a white husband.
Obviously, though, you can’t perform such a simple task. You have nothing to offer me and I want you to move out. I’m going to get a Russian roommate that’s tall, thin and has golden hair. She’ll help me get what I want.
Mary, you’re not a real westerner.
In my eyes, you’re a 小人.”

We are reaching levels of white worship never before seen by noodles